Many of us have grown up in an authoritarian society (in our homes, our schools, our communities) where the big people had all the power and the children had little to none.

We have carried these feelings of powerlessness through our lives and when we come face-to-face with power struggles with our children such as:

:: Not listening when we ask them to get off the iPad

:: Being defiant about jumping on the couch

:: Refusing to get in the bath

:: Demanding we buy something for them

What happens is that our own feelings take us back to our body based memories of feeling powerless as a child.

In those moment we disconnect from ourselves.

We disconnect from our children.

And then we react from this place, rather than respond to their real needs in that moment.

You might notice that you resort to using your bigger power over your children (either through physical force, threats, manipulation etc) which will actually result in more powerless behaviours coming up (not listening, defiance, refusing, demanding, hitting, snatching, pushing etc).

But, the answer to our children’s powerless behaviours is actually more connection.

And as always, there will be huge shifts just from becoming AWARE of this sense of powerlessness in ourselves and our children. Then, we can begin to take back our own power through healing our emotional wounds and empower our children through independence, choice and play.

Love to hear your thoughts, please share with me in the Lightfilled Parenting Circle here


Belinda Connelly
Parenting Mentor
B. Ed (Early Childhood)
Certified Lightworker Practitioner 


PS If you’d like to chat more about taking back your own power through healing your emotional wounds and empowering your children through independence, choice and play check out how we can work together here