You need to OWN your emotions (so your children don’t have to)
This is is a bit of a longer post but worth the read, I promise! You’re going to walk away with some practical, tangible ways to get started with this right away.
Children are highly sensitive, intuitive, emotional beings. They tend to be much more in touch with emotions than many adults because they haven’t yet been conditioned to numb and suppress those emotions for many years, the way we have.
Our kids are much more open and aware and therefore susceptible to the emotional energy in your home, even if you’re putting on a happy face.
Children will mirror your underlying emotions.
So if you have unresolved anger, fear, worry, frustration etc you will see that mirrored in your child’s behaviour. It may show up as shouting, not listening, hitting, biting, anxiety, clinging, demanding…
It’s very easy to then go into the cycle of wanting to blame your child, wanting to fix them or asking what’s wrong with them!?
Here’s what I want you to know.
Before you start trying to ‘fix’ your kids’ behaviour issues it’s a good idea to look at your emotions first. (It’s not ALWAYS the case, but its a great place to start looking!)
So what I want you to start doing is very simple. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s simple.
Start responding to yourself and your emotions the way you’re aiming to respond to your child.
Your emotions get to be heard or validated instead of pushed down. How would you respond to your child when they’re angry, feeling anxious, hurt, disappointed or frustrated? Turn that compassionate response around to yourself! You deserve that too.
Stop distracting yourself with things like Tv, Facebook or eating ice cream and instead practise holding space for yourself. Take 1-2 minutes to be present with your emotion. Where do you feel that in your body? how does it feel? What are the physical sensations? It’s okay to feel that way! Breathe. Feel your feet on the ground. Maybe even move your body.
This keeps the emotions flowing. Rather than stopping them or keeping them stagnant in your body. This is the first step and something I hope you can start practising today.
Afterwards, you’ll feel calmer.
Your children can feel that sense of calm
And you can respond from that place of calm
And your children will be reflecting that calm energy they are picking up back to you through their behaviour.
Do you have questions or would like to know more about this – I’d love to hear from you! You can get in touch through my Facebook page or via the form below and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. And if you’d like my support to create more balance, ease and flow at home with your children, you can book right here.